Avoiding Crisis

quiet mind

with 2 comments

do you have loud, talkative, non-stop debating mind or are you one of the lucky ones who has a quiet mind?  I fall into the first category if you couldn’t tell.

I remember when I first went to therapy I tried to explain to the doctor how i was always hearing voices in my head, but how they weren’t really voices, but only just one voice, my own.  And how that sometimes the noise is really loud and destructive.  It took me a while to even get up the nerve to describe this since I was so terrified that he’d think I was crazy/schizophrenic/split personality.   He didn’t.  I wondered.

I’d eventually come to describe the noise that I hear as the committee in my head.  Sometimes it gives me headaches.

When I’m really stressed out, obsessing about the past, worrying about the future and/or in a state of high anxiety or crappy depression the committee can be boisterously loud and annoying, obnoxious really. And then, there are the times when the committee has really nothing to say and things are eerily quiet, lonely even.  I wish however that I could tap into this committee and use it.  It’s really quite snarky and fun and insightful and smart and really quite witty.  Nothing at all like me. 

A long time ago I used to cut myself in order to quite the noise.  I haven’t done that in a long long time.  But the committee is still there.  And every now and again they get a bit loud and obnoxious and difficult to handle.   

I’ve been thinking that maybe through meditation I can learn to harness this energy.  I just don’t know where to even begin.  Me, meditate?  what does that even mean.  How does one even begin to start on that journey.  I don’t know, really, maybe I’m just reaching for something, anything. 

so if anyone out there knows a thing or two or three about how one would go about researching the different types of meditation or the best ways to begin the process of meditation, well, then, i;d love to hear everything you have to say.

anyone? thoughts?


Written by nicolemarie

February 8, 2008 at 12:11 am

Posted in crazy randomness

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2 Responses

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  1. Learning to meditate is easy, staying with it, not so much. I would suggest you read the Dalai Lama’s “The Art of Happiness”, a deceptively simple little book with a somewhat corny title. If the way he frames things appeals to you, you will easily find places in DC (or any other US city for that matter) to learn how to meditate.


    February 9, 2008 at 2:01 pm

  2. TM (transcendental meditation) has centers in every large city. Your take a course (I learned it in weekend) to learn the basic discipline and technique. The idea is to do it once or twice a day at least in a very organized way. It works. I have known how to do it for years but seem do it in 2 or three year spurts. I wish i could have done it when I had lots of small babies but it was difficult. For me it is like a night’s sleep in 15 minutes.you are energized and your mind is really clear and sharp..I could always write or have a difficult conversation best after doing it. The actual meditation’s session goal is to quiet the mind and think of nothing.

    Do you sleep well? Good, consistant sleep will make a world of difference in the anxiety you are feeling inside your head.


    February 10, 2008 at 8:48 pm

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