Avoiding Crisis

quiet and yet…

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not so quiet.

A work up early this morning to head downtown and hit the gym before work – he’s getting a jump start on his new years resolutions. 

When he leaves early like this he typically lets me know that he’s leaving with a sweet kiss and a whispered goodbye, have a good day, and i love you.  And in my I’m-so-not-a-morning-person fashion I mumble something completely incoherent and cover my head with a pillow and go back to sleep.  But this morning, this morning, I decided to do something different. 

I woke up.

I woke up and  I got out of bed.  I had a real conversation with my husband before he left for work, poured myself a cup of just brewed coffee and I am now sitting in the living room, on the couch, in front of a large bay window where the Christmas tree is.  No one else is awake. 

The lights are off, in the room and on the tree, and the blinds are partially closed.  The room is filled with a soft glow of sunlight. 

It is morning. 

And life just seems, dare I say, wonderful.  I’m not worried about moving, house hunting or job searching. 

And then, just like that, just as I type the simple word wonderful that moment is gone.  Poof, just like that. 

My heart is back to beating just a tad faster then normal as thoughts of what’s to come race around in my head and the lump that has taken permanent residence in the pit of my stomach has relocated itself to my throat. 

Maybe I should have just stayed in bed.

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Written by nicolemarie

December 26, 2007 at 7:14 am

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