Avoiding Crisis

thoughts on a rainy day

with 4 comments

From where she sat, sipping her tea and eating scones, she could see the child’s playground in the park across the street, water droplets bouncing off the red metal slide, and listen to the high pitched laughter of middle-aged women too deep in their own world to notice, nor care, about the loudness of their voices.

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Written by nicolemarie

November 13, 2007 at 10:27 am

Posted in crazy argentina

4 Responses

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  1. What kind of tea, what kind of scone. When you write about “water droplets bouncing off the red metal slide” I see the picture and I’m there.

    Barry

    November 13, 2007 at 8:19 pm

  2. funny you ask about the tea and scones since when i first wrote this sentence it included “earl grey” before the tea and “blueberry” before the scones. But I thought it made the sentence too long (as if it’s not long enough already) and I cut them out because they just seemed unimportant.

    nicolemarie

    November 15, 2007 at 8:42 am

  3. Somehow I knew it was blueberry. One of the hardest things for a writer is to figure out how to capture telling detail without cluttering up a sentence. Don’t imagine for a moment that accomplished writers don’t agonize over this task.

    Barry

    November 15, 2007 at 9:54 am

  4. …and it can easily be broken into two sentences at “and”.

    Barry

    November 15, 2007 at 9:58 am


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