Avoiding Crisis

spring break

with one comment

I’m forcing myself to write.

I’ve just finished up reading for my Intro to Urban Planning class and posted my answers to the discussion questions and all I really want to do right now is crawl up in bed, shut my eyes and go to sleep. That is, of course, what I’d like to do, but the problem is, even if I did happen to crawl into bed and close my eyes, sleep probably wouldn’t come that easily.

I’ve been a bit of an insomniac these days. I can’t fall asleep unless I’m completely and utterly exhausted and I can’t go to bed not being completely and utterly exhausted because lying in bed thinking about falling asleep but not actually falling asleep will just keep me awake even longer.

You know how it is, don’t you?

When you have too much stuff going on and you haven’t yet figured out how to make it all flow together. When you have a lot of topics and issues floating around in that brain of yours but can’t seem to put closure on any of them. That’s me these days. My husband thinks I’m a bit manic; I just think I’m a busy mom.

So I’m lethargic and unmotivated and, well, just blah. Blah.

It’s not that I’m depressed or anything like that. I’m just really freakin’ tired – exhausted actually. And while I’d like to say it has everything to do with not yet having caught up on the lost sleep from my delayed airline flight this past weekend, i don’t really think that’s it. See, if I could catch up on the sleep I would, but I just can’t.

I’m beginning to think it has a lot to do with the weather.

It’s been raining here for what seems like FOREVER – i think it’s only been a few weeks but it just seems like so much longer. Everything feels gloomy and gray and wet. Really wet.

It’s supposed to be Spring – my kids are even on spring break this week (Which, I’ll admit, may be a contributing factor to my exhaustion). I’m supposed to be enjoying my very heated pool right now getting an early start on my tan (cause gosh darn it I look a whole lot better with a tan. don’t we all?). I’m not supposed to be cooped up inside my house trying to find rainy-day activities (like an extra long paper chain held together by stickers) to entertain my children. Oh why can’t I just be a really bad mom and park them in front of the television for hours on end.

I’m in serious need need of some sun. A lot of sun.

Times like these, when we have stretches of overcast and rainy days, tend to remind me of life in Lima (Peru). One of the first things you hear about living in Lima from other expats /diplomats is that you have to get used to living without the sun for 7 months of the year.

At first I thought it was an exaggeration. But it wasn’t. Seriously, something about the ocean, the mountains and where Lima falls in between them creates this cloud cover that stays permanently put for at least 6-7 months of the year.

The funny thing about it is that for the two years we lived there I wasn’t really bothered by it – or at least I don’t remember being bothered by it. I didn’t get depressed because of it, I wasn’t hit with seasonal affective disorder like some people were, I just lived with it.

Here, in Buenos Aires, when it’s gray and gloomy and overcast I can’t stand it, it makes me tired and sad and I find myself overcome with a general sense of malaise. Not sure why this is. Intriguing, no?

The sun did finally come out this afternoon. And as soon as it did I jumped up, ran and got the kids shoes and coats and announced that we were all going outside. I felt a whole lot better being outside and feeling the warmth of the sun on my face. I dealt with the unbelievable muddiness that was my backyard and accepted the fact that I was going to have two very dirty kids when we were done. The kids actually did quite well and proved me wrong. I was so excited about being outside and there being sun that I had to take some pictures to capture the moment.

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And you probably thought that I was going to tell you all about the debauchery of one of my college spring break trips to the Bahamas. Which, if I did, would be a big fat lie seeing seeing how I never took one of those types of trips. I’m a good girl. Really, I am.

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Written by nicolemarie

September 18, 2007 at 10:45 pm

One Response

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  1. Beautiful children!

    Dawn

    September 19, 2007 at 8:36 am


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