Avoiding Crisis

somebody call me an exterminator!

with 6 comments

So I was sitting at the computer minding my own business, trying to learn about Argentine labor laws (which btw are SO fucked up) so that I could understand why my now ex-maid felt the need to send us a certified letter stating that she was going to report us to some office and claim that we didn’t pay her enough upon her termination, when a HUGE cockroach decided to pay me a visit. Is this what I get for firing someone???

Ewwwww. Gross. Uck. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It really was huge. I’m not exaggerating. HUGE with a capital H-U-G and E. It first crawled up the wall behind my printer. I made a sudden movement (like jumping 10 feet in the air and landing curled up in the fetal position on my chair). It retreated behind my desk. So then I started to dismantle my desk and everything on it. I meant business. Nobody messes with my computer.  It’s sacred. Even ask my husband, I can’t tell you the last time he’s had more than 5 minutes on this sucker.

Then my mother-in-law called and I tried my hardest to act all calm and cool while not trying to let on what was going on at that very moment. ‘Cause you know, I didn’t want to sound like a 10 year old silly girl who was scared of bugs. To say the least it was a very strained conversation (sorry k) but I had my mind elsewhere. Like fixated on the wall behind my printer.

I hung up the phone and a few minuted later the HUGE bug reappeared. I grabbed a book and swatted at it but those things move really fast. I mean they have some serious speed on them.

Then, I had it. It was enough. I started moving everything off my desk (of course my wine glass was the first to be set aside in a nice calm fashion so as not to disturb the fine Malbec that awaited my return). Then I moved the entire desk.

Where was that damn bug???? And then it came darting out at mach speed straight for the door. “Oh no you don’t” I thought. And, with my favorite pair of bright orange Crocs I killed it.

I’m a cockroach killer.

Ladies and gentleman, meet the dead cockroach.

IMG_2544

I told you it was HUGE!

So first the mosquitos, now this. What’s next?

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Written by nicolemarie

April 12, 2007 at 10:34 pm

Posted in bugs, general, other

6 Responses

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  1. Oooh gross!
    Actually, when I lived in Pakistan we would occasionally see these really huge cockroaches. I’d take those over those little brown ones any day.

    Dawn

    April 13, 2007 at 7:55 am

  2. Yeck – but its legs are marvellous in the photo – hard to tell the scale as I’m not sure what the plastic gizmo is.
    Years ago while we were waiting for a flight out of San Juan, Puerto Rico, as I was sipping an execrable cup of coffee, I spied a cockroach about 6 inches long scurry on the floor under the seats facing me – and pulled my feet up smartly on the seat. EGAD!

    suburbanlife

    April 13, 2007 at 11:48 am

  3. suburban life – the plastic thing is a pen cap and is about 2 inches in length. It was the first thing I could find and quickly take a photo before my husband told me to stop obsessing and picked up the bug and threw it out. In hindsight I guess a ruler would have been better to use. Oh well.

    nicolemarie

    April 13, 2007 at 11:57 am

  4. Have you ever met anyone who likes roaches? Nearly every other creature has its fans. I even knew someone who was a real slug lover, but I’ve never even heard of anyone who likes roaches.

    prospectus

    April 13, 2007 at 12:29 pm

  5. Prospectus-

    Uh, no. And I’ve just looked. I even tried searching many variations of the words cockroach, love, fan, don’t kill…

    But you can get at “I love cockroaches” T-shirt or mug at http://www.cafepress.com/buy/cockroaches.

    Brilliant!

    nicolemarie

    April 13, 2007 at 4:13 pm

  6. yuck!!! You are soo brave. I lost it when I found a huge waterbug running around my apt. Hyterical. I’m such a baby. I hate when they are soo big that you can see the leg hairs.

    Michele

    April 14, 2007 at 3:31 pm


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