Avoiding Crisis

dear mr. postal worker, i want my damn laptop!

with 3 comments

Okay, so today is mail day.  We receive mail from the good ole USA every Tuesday and Thursday down here.  We used to receive it on a daily basis, but due to budget cuts, due to a enormously costly war that is going on somewhere over in the middle east, have you heard about it?, we now only get mail two days a week.  This sucks. 

But what sucks even more is that my freakin’ new laptop still hasn’t arrived.  Which just further reaffirms my ire toward the asshole postal worker that decided to steal my laptop.  Some postal worker figured since it was insured for a whopping $2000 s/he could easily take it and we would then be able to file a claim and get a new one in a few months time.  But, I want my laptop NOW, not in a few months.

If said postal worker had not stolen my laptop I could be upstairs right now with my daughter watching Alice and Wonderland and writing something very important – probably about the relationship between Alice and Wonderland and hallucinogenic drugs, because we all know that is an extrememly important topic.  But NO, instead I’m stuck downstairs listening to the stupid while rabbit singing, “I’m late. I’m late. I’m late for an important date.”  While my daughter is sitting all by her lonesome wondering why she has been abandoned by her mother.  So, hear this you heartless postal worker, when my daughter grows up with abandonment issues, suffers from a nervous breakdown in her 20s because she had a bad and negligent mother who spent way too much time parked in front of the desktop computer, it will be you to blame. 

GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN LAPTOP.  Oh, and while you’re at it, if you don’t mind, could you please return that set of All-Clad pots and pans that you stole back in 2003. thanks. 


Written by nicolemarie

March 15, 2007 at 4:24 pm

Posted in general, humor, life

3 Responses

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  1. Good rant, Nicolemarie! Do you feel slightly better now? What are All-Clad pots and pans like… highly desirable, good quality, long-lasting, etc.? I’m still operating out of the pans I bought over 30 year’s ago when “Rumpole” (my husband) was in Law School… so am an unaware consumer.:-)


    March 15, 2007 at 7:15 pm

  2. Oh Lord. A postal thief. Wh woulda thunk it?
    And I thought I had problems. There’s just a mouse family in my car that is ruining my life at the moment.
    Oh joy.

    Mimi Lenox

    March 15, 2007 at 7:16 pm

  3. suburbanlife – the All-Clad pots and pans are awesome! They are also darn expensive which is why I haven’t replaced them after 4 years. They were also a wedding present from an aunt and uncle. I just hate when things get stolen.


    March 15, 2007 at 9:46 pm

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