Avoiding Crisis

anxiety sucks…

with 3 comments

but so do a lot of other things.

I received a magazine in the mail a few days ago.  I didn’t order this magazine. I didn’t ask for it to be delivered.  Yet, here it is, sitting on my kitchen table taking up space.  Apparently, I will continue to receive this magazine every month, and be charged for it, unless I call the company that sent it to me and tell them “thanks, but no thanks.”  This wouldn’t be so difficult or particularly annoying if the damn phone number wasn’t ALWAYS busy.  Two days I’ve been trying to call.  And for two whole days I’ve been unable to get through.  It’s really beginning to get on my nerves.   

It doesn’t help that I’m not in a great mood today.  And, contrary to what you may be thinking,  it actually has nothing to do with the fact that my parents arrived this morning.  I woke up yesterday with this nagging sense of doom.  This is typically the sensation I have before I head into a full blown state of anxiety.  So this morning I wasn’t at all surprised to feel a tightening in my chest, a jitteriness throughout my body and a general sense of nervousness all over.  Yes, it sucks.  But you know what would be even worse?  Having these feelings without my daily dose of Zoloft in my bloodstream.  ‘Cause without it, I’d be a real nut case.   Not that medication is the answer to everything or appropriate for everyone. But for me, it’s been a life saver.  Sorry Tom, but diet, exercise and the right vitamins wouldn’t do me a whole lot of good.   

There was a time in my life, oh so many years ago, when I was 100% against taking medication to deal with “my issues”.  I used to think that by taking meds to help with the anxiety and depression I experienced on an all too regular basis would cause me to become numb to the world around me and not allow me to feel at all.  This is so not the case.  Trust me, there are days when I wish I could walk around in a drug induced euphoria, but instead, like everyone else, I  have my ups and downs and ins and outs.  And today, I’m definitely having a down and out day. 

However, unlike the me that existed 7 years ago, today I’m able to function like a normal person (albeit one that, at times,  feels as though the weight of the world has settled on her shoulders).  I don’t feel the need to lock myself in my room, search for sharp objects and cut myself to release the tension I was feeling.  While it might not have been pretty, it was the only thing that helped for a very long time.     

I don’t like it when I’m anxious.  Does anyone?

Yes, anxiety sucks. But cutting yourself to get rid of that feeling sucks even more.

   

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Written by nicolemarie

February 7, 2007 at 10:25 pm

3 Responses

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  1. I agree, anxiety keeps us from enjoying life and having fun…that’s why I have made it a life -long- goal to get anxiety out of my nervous system and body.

    Let me tell you a secret….the way to avoid crisis is to love your anxiety.

    Doris Jeanette

    February 8, 2007 at 12:36 pm

  2. Thank You

    Mark

    April 18, 2007 at 5:06 am

  3. Mark – you’re welcome.

    nicolemarie

    April 18, 2007 at 9:07 am


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